It has been prescribed that for every breakup of a relationship, you need double that amount of time to heal.
Three months of sixteen and I keep telling people, "yea, I just got off of tour".
My heart aches not being onstage in a show I love everyday. Yes, I am working on other projects. Yes, I keep in contact with most all the Idiots. Yes, I like having DVR.
Thank goodness, I didn't take a day for granted while touring the country. Carpe fucking diem'ed.
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This week. I'm working on three major projects for me. And if you couldn't already tell, I'm sleepless and trying to lull myself to sleep with Red Label.
I AM STRESSED BEYOND BELIEF.
And I'm smiling. Because, I love the theater. And I love the theater with theater professionals with an attitude of "can do". Because at the end of the day- well, what else is more rewarding?
I've been recently feeling as if I needed something else. Something that wasn't so volatile as being an artist for a living. I wanted more control. I wanted more money. I wanted more stability.
NEWS FLASH: Stability doesn't exist, y'all!!!
But love does. If you do what you love and treat others with respect while you're doing it- you only attract more of what you project.
Take what you want from this. It's full of generalizations. But generally what I'm saying is- everything is worth it. And when it drives you to tears, you can thank God that something still can.
Months before the tour ended, I put a countdown on my phone to that last performance. It's still there. Currently at 146 days. I can't bring myself to take it down.
ReplyDeleteTruth be known, it's been a mourning process for me. Some days are easy. Some days not so much.
The hardest part is knowning that there's not a forseeable time in the future that I'm planning on seeing an Idiot. :/
That being said, I know you are amazing and awesome and wonderful and full of life a joy are are going to bring those same attributes to anything you work on.
Lots of love <3
Cara